Thursday, June 18, 2009

Scared to be ME?

I am going through an artist’s block these days.

After attending my very first SCBWI (Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators) in Tokyo last week, I was enthused to create a portfolio like no other for my art school applications. Since majority of my works are illustrations in black & white (owing to the format of a students’ magazine I was a part of during high school), I wasn’t sure whether presenting these drawings would be good enough to get me into a school.

Almost every one of the designers and authors I met at SCBWI network meeting said that I should remake a few illustrations by adding colors to them. Getting suggestions from people who were in the field I am hoping to plunge into, I put my energy in asking them for as much feedback and advice as possible. They reciprocated and were kind enough to give me tips on page layouts, backgrounds, designs and most importantly – on creating a storyline while showcasing my work.

All said and done, I returned to my den excited as crazy on Thursday with scraps of paper and visiting cards but then the weekend came along and turned me upside down, taking away my thrills.

The weirdest thought occurred to me just before I sat to start my first illustration re-make. I was scared as hell to re-do my own drawings, petrified whether I will be able to re-create it or not. Being a person extremely annoyed with distorted and imperfect pictures, especially if I am the artist, I have been holding back for a week now to work on my own portfolio.

Ironically, I need to gather strength and support from me to be me!

1 comment:

Stephen Pickering said...

I read in a Joseph Campbell book where he wrote that the cause of writer's block (and I guess one could apply this to all the arts) is letting the "critical" factor of one's psychology in before the "lyrical" part has had its time to express itself. He was saying let the lyrical part in first and then bring the critical factor in later.

Also I heard something interesting on a Video blog, really it was about blogging, software and tech related, but it kinda hit home, he said, "Perfectionism is the Enemy of Progress" to like get it out there and "iterate" as time goes by.