Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The acting is Abysmal... Watchmen (3/10)

" This is, after all, a movie where the lead character is a naked blue man on steroids who uses his super powers to duplicate himself and have a me and myself threesome with his superbabe.
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With the exception of Jackie Earl Haley's Rorschach, the acting is abysmal, particularly MArin Ackerman's Silk Specter, who after being teleported to another planet, exclaims "OHMYGAWD, we're on Mars!" She also gets the fakest looking sex scene this side of "Showgirls" with Patrick Wilson's Nite Owl. (And fans of Leonard Cohen will wince at the cheap use of his song "Halleluja" here.) "

Source http://search.japantimes.co.jp/cgi-bin/ff20090327a2.html

For starters, we didn’t have a clue of how these superheroes got their powers in the first place. I got the point that they all had messed up childhoods and were pretty down to earth and pissed about humans being a bunch of loonies trying to kill each other and fighting all the time. But Watchmen were the SUPERHEROES!!

There was nothing super heroic about the character of Rorschach except his paint-moving mask or the Night Owl, a simple man in love with the superbabe, or the superbabe herself who waves her black hair in the yellow latex jumpsuit every now and then.

There were a LOT of unnecessary flesh-muscle-blood flying around in the movie, especially the scene with two diseased dogs fighting over a little girl's leg for meat was highly gruesome and uncalled for. I mean, the audiences have a heart you know!!! Even 300 or Dark Knight - which got into a bit of controversy for the amount of violence - were far from being this insensitive.

The only character in the movie having actual super powers was the blue man Dr. Manhattan - was naked 90% of the time!! He wore nice suits once in a while but seriously how about trying on a pair of boxers or briefs for the rest of the movie? It would have saved the audiences from having scary dreams of your blue weenie.

I guess the movie made sense only to those who have read the book because it gave them super visuals of what they had read. It was something like the Da Vinci Code, where the audience was a bit clueless about what was going on had they not read the book earlier (and Tom Hanks hair was unforgettable).

All in all, I would rate Watchmen as a 3 on 10. Those who see it, might do so on their own peril.

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